Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
