Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
