and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
