walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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