My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
