His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
