Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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