so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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