People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
