you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
