Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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