ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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