i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
