your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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