Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
