So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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