pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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