he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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