just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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