You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
