sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
