Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
