You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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