so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
