They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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