if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
