you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
