New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
