My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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