it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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