there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
