I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
