The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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