We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
