he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
