ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
