I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
