i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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