Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
