bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
