i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
