i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
