its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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