My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
