I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
