Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I love you. Go after that dick
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
