What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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