No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
wow bdsm is so cute
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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