Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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