Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize