Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
