I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
