Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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