giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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