Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
