he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
