I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
