I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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