i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
