This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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