found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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