Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
