Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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