apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
